Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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