at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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