We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
