her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
