Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
