Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
nutella sex= disaster
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
