I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
