Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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