i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
