fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
These tits shall not be calmed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
