how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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