I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She bit a glass in half.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
