im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
