glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
