Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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