He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
