I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
