Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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