I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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