We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
