u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
