So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
