he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
