i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
