there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
