I love black thongs
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Alive.
So much puke
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
