I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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