he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
