So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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