im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
