Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
