We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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