I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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