Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In other news, I just burned my penis
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
