Non-Jews are for practice
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
