C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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