She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
