; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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