That's intense
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
