Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
