Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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