I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
In other news, I just burned my penis
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
