final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
