I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Randomize
