The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
