allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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