when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
