"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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