i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
