Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
